I don’t want to succumb to a defeatist mentality.  This mentality is something I’ve actively tried to eradicate from my life, starting from finding at least one thing positive in even a negative incident to making an effort in noting a small positive trait in other people.  Now, when it comes to having something to say from the ruminating part of my mind, for instance, to bring forth that thought experiment or idea that’s been stewing in some recess of the brain, I just have not found the inner strength to fight defeat.  I cannot overcome that idea that everything interesting and noteworthy has been said. I’ve finally understood the stark reality that writing down an idea has the lowest entry barrier and this statistically will work against someone seeking to break new ground in this area.  Maybe I am late to the party.  Maybe I am stating the most obvious.  But I have just understood that  creating something, something beyond words, is the true domain of creativity — at least a domain that hasn’t had its final word.

My Sunday Ramblings

This seems to be the era where very little is left to be desired.  It’s a wonderful era filled with wonders.


Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

Arthur C. Clarke“Profiles of The Future”, 1961 (Clarke’s third law)


So if that’s the case, why do I feel so disenchanted?

Everything’s amazing and nobody’s happy:


I believe I am struggling with the weighty consequences of human action and knowledge.  I am struggling with moral, systemic, social failures that I condone with inaction but make worse with action.  

What can I do when I see greed and irrational behavior destroy not just society but the people around me?  There’s nothing I can say to make a closed mind listen.  How can I claim any right to blame, when I see these are just products of traditions blindly passed down the generations, societal pressures, and the lack of moral or rational introspection?  

Then I ask: why do I feel empathy and the need to help?  Why should I encourage and reward everyone’s bad behavior? 

I would like to shed all of this baggage, make a break for freedom, be who I truly can be.  I fear these illusive cobwebs that seem to blind and bind everyone else.

Today, when I was sitting in my room, I wished I was home.  Maybe being home is more than the location or the people, but being true to yourself?  Maybe being home is leaving it.

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